My mother and brother have this insane intolerance for holidays. It makes them nervous or something, and once they’re nervous they make everyone else nervous. My brother hasn’t been bad yet today, but my mom sure has.
She comes out into the living room, screams at my dad about something incomprehensible. She goes to check on the food. She comes back into the living room, screams at dad about something incomprehensible. She goes back to check on the food. Repeat x800. Then she starts cleaning. Has to dust everywhere, has to pick up infinitesimal specks out dirt out of the carpet, has to scream about shoes on the floor. She goes to check on the food. Comes back to the living room, screams at dad about something incomprehensible. Goes back to check on the food. Cleans. Repeat x800.
I’m all on edge. I have no reason to be really since I like holidays. I like seeing people. But damn, if she pops out here all whirlwind again, I think I’m going to shoot myself.
And if I hear “oh look, a turkey friar for only blah blah cost” one more time, I’m going to pop somebody in the nose. We don’t fry turkey, damnit! We do it the right way.
Mom & Dad Convo:
Dad: I feel sick.
Mom: Huh?
Dad: What?
Mom: Huh?
Dad: Oh, I thought you said something.
Mom: I said “huh?”
Dad: What?
Mom: WHAT DID YOU SAY A SECOND AGO BEFORE ALL THE HUHS.
Dad: I feel sick.
Mom: YOU ALWAYS FEEL SICK. NAME A DAY YOU DON’T FEEL SICK!
Dad: What?
Mom: YOU ALWAYS FEEL SICK. NAME A DAY YOU DON’T FEEL SICK!
Dad: You don’t have to yell! I heard you! I just don’t agree, so I was asking.
Mom: Oh for Christ’s sakes.
Dad: What? Jeanette, aww, come on. Don’t be mad, it’s a holiday.
Mom: Huh?
Dad: It’s a holiday.
Mom: You’re sick every damn holiday! Every damn day!
Dad: ::groans:: Oh, oh, oh, I’m so sick. No one feels sorry for me.
Mom: Maybe we would if you’d stop whining and give us a chance!
Dad: What?
Mom: What do you mean what?
Dad: That didn’t make any sense.
Mom: Huh?
Dad: What?
Mom: Huh?
Dad: What?
Mom: God, I hate you. I’m going to my room.
Dad: Huh?
Mom: ::slams the door::
Dad: Do you know what she was mad about?
Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving all, from the whole clan.
posted by Sarie @
3:09 PM
>Comments: 0
