Wednesday, February 12, 2003

I think I should maybe start making myself go to sleep at 12:30. It's kind of amazing how much a half hour's sleep affects my ability to pry myself from my warm covers. My mother turns the heat down in the house overnight, so it's always terribly cold when I wake up. Today, I made myself kick off my blankets, thinking: "Well, you'll get cold soon enough and have to start moving." I was right. But not in the way I expected. Rather than make me move out of bed, it made just long to move under my covers again. I wish I could explain to you how I reason with myself when I'm half asleep. It's sort of like my head is full of dreaminess and static, and part of my brain keeps nagging in a rather quietish alarm clock sort of way, "get out of bed, get out of bed, you have to get out of bed." But then a more seductive voice slithers in. "You don't have to get out of bed just yet. Ten minutes more won't hurt. What if you were a few minutes late to school? Would that kill you? No, but getting out of bed might. Seriously, these things have been known to happen. Say, you don't need to go to Biology. You really don't. Just lay back and sleep. Warmth, sleep, love...."

I had a really annoying dream last night. I dreamt that my Spring Break plans were ruined because a friend of mine decided to be bitchy and cancel on me, to get back for the fact that I couldn't do something with her in the Summer, on account of I was going to Europe. I woke up angry. While I don't hold people responsible for their actions in my dreams, I guess the dream is likely just a reflection of some anger issues I've had in general lately. These need to be fixed.

My mom's nagging me for the computer. Irritating. My nephews and nieces are so irresponsible. The eldest of my nephews, and the middle niece, have both borrowed money from my mom that they haven't paid back, and don't seem to plan on paying it back. I can't imagine ripping my grandma off. Ridiculous.