Let the Cut Begin
So where have I been?Somewhere quiet, in a deep depression, I think. But no more of that now. I think I'm happy again.
These past few weeks have been interesting. I think I had my heart broken, sort of, by approximately three different people all in the course of a day. That sucked. Hard. It really, really did. And I cried a lot, and burned sad mp3 mixes for my car, and wrote bad, lonely poetry in church when I was supposed to be paying attention to the sermon.
Plus, I got in trouble at school sort of (and still am in trouble at school probably - more on that upon resolution), and am having financial troubles since my lousy health insurance company won't pay my frickin' medical bills like they're supposed to.
Yes, there are definitely time periods in life that suck.
But life doesn't suck. People weren't meant to be so unhappy. Oh, there's a time to mourn, surely, but that's not what all time is for. Life wasn't built for worry and self-pity and...well, misery.
It's getting on November now, and time to be thinking of thankfulness.
In Church today, we were reading John chapter 15. I remembered the Sixpence None the Richer song "Love." The words go something like: "The Harvester is near / His blade is on your skin To plant a new beginning / Well, then, let the cut begin."
Something about that resonates with me right now. I remember Kahlil Gibran wrote something like: "For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth, so is he for your pruning." I think I'm going through one of those pruning phases now.
I saw a priest the other day, and he said: "The cross is suffering. Don't run from the cross because Jesus is at the cross. If you run from the cross, you're running from Jesus." It's an easy thing to say. But there's nothing so terrifying as the cross. Nobody wants to suffer; least of all me.
But it may be time. "The Harvester is near. His blade is on your skin. To plant a new beginning, well, then, let the cut begin."
Ach. Let the cut begin.
posted by Sarie @
8:02 PM
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