Tuesday, November 19, 2002

I have the oddest personal habits sometimes.

I like to fight in religious chatrooms. I enjoy debate with intelligent people and occasionally, you'll find one or two there. Usually not, but sometimes.

Somehow, I always end up getting Amened, and then thirty IMs. And I end up in the oddest possible place I can be: Giving advice to Christians about their religion.

At the moment, I'm explaining how if you pray, and go to church, and try to be good and believe in God, how God will help you get whatever it is you need. Do I believe that? Well, it doesn't seem to matter to anybody whether or not I believe it. It's comforting to hear, apparently. I may have been a priest in a former life. I'm almost sort of good at this. And it almost feels sort of good to do until I think about how ridiculous it is that I've had an hour long conversation with a girl about a heaven I don't believe in.

The thing is, when I find someone who I don't think is up to the debate, I can't...crush them. I can beat the hell out of competition, but an innocent type who accidentally stumbles into thinking I'm a nice Christian type, I just can't turn them down. Someday I'll stand before the grand tribunal and they'll say: "If you're so goddamn evil (sic), then why didn't you tell that sheep to go worship Satan and eat a baby, eh?" And I'll say: "Well, Lord, it's just that the flock is so damn cute when they're stupid..." And then God will cast me into the flames for the TOS violation of impersonating an officer of the Lord, and general insubordination.

Eahh, sometimes I'm this close to saying there's probably a God. And then I think: "Raising the dead? I think not." And that's all there is to it. Damn you education! ::shakes fist::