Tuesday, February 04, 2003

I went to bed early last night. I thought an extra hour's sleep would be quite good for me. So, this morning I woke up a few minutes before my alarm clock was set to go off. That's always nice. It should be remembered that I always set my clock an hour early. While the screetch of that first alarm is enough to jolt me out deep sleep, it's never enough to get me out of bed. So I always hit snooze for an hour, and take sort of a nap until the alarm goes off again, and then I can usually handle getting up. Today, everything went backwards. When I woke up at 7:55, I reset the alarm clock for 9:00; I felt pretty good, and happy I'd missed the alarm. I went back to sleep for my usual hour's nap, but it seems that my body hadn't really fallen asleep all night, and was in fact waiting for my usual nap hour to do so, because I woke up a 9:11, with the alarm clock pounding my ears as it had been for the last eleven slept through minutes. And while I groggily managed to remove myself from my nice warm bed and stumble across the room to start the day, I now, officially feel like hell. So much for extra sleep doing me good. All I managed to do was confuse my poor body into getting even less rest.

The grandiose buzz of last night has worn off. I mean, I still kicked ass at that thing, but I've also reverted to my natural distrust of anyone who kick ass, even if it's me. Plus, I'm not naturally all that narcissistic, so I'm going over the one mistake that I made all night over and over again in my head. That's the funny thing about doing anything at all. You can be a tremendous hero and save nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine lives, and while it feels pretty good when you do it, later all you can concentrate on is the one life you didn't save. A single failure is strong enough to trump nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine successes, easily. So I feel a bit of an ass over the whole thing; debating victories are somehow less clear cut and glorious than say, sporting victories. I feel sort of obligated to go to the next meeting, but I don't really want to, so maybe I'll find an excuse to not. If I do skip though, it's likely to turn into a protesting society, and that's why I feel obligated to attend.

I scheduled classes for next quarter last night. I'm getting frighteningly close to graduation, I fear. I've got German 103 next quarter; in the fall I'll have to take 104 and then I'm done with my language requirement. I've got Physical Anthropology; that'll leave only two more lousy Science requirements. I've got some 500 level American History class that sounds incredibly boring; that'll leave me with two non-Western History courses, and my Thesis before I'm done with History. I'm taking Photography as an elective; which, of course, there really aren't any requirements for. But after all that, I've only got Statistics and my Capstone left, before I'm free to graduate. It sounds a bit daunting all written out. But what it really means is that, come next Fall, I'll have 40 required hours of classes to take, and assuming I take a bare minimum of course, 45 hours in which to do it. So I'm really sort of unusually ahead of the game.