Why Do The Heathen Rage?

Somehow, I’ve managed to get the date all jumbled in my brain. I thought today was the day my window opens for scheduling class, but apparently it’s not until tomorrow. It’s just as well, since I’d forgotten what I need to take. I had to re-look everything up.

Looks like next quarter I’ll have: Stats (oh boy!); Astronomy (wee!); History of Modern Africa (actually, the only class I’m interested in all that much); and an Honors Seminar about the religious beliefs of the Founding Fathers. It promises to be one of my more boring quarters. But none of the classes look terribly difficult, so hopefully that’ll help to balance out my GPA after this quarter from hell.

I’ve never not been on the Dean’s List before. But this quarter, I stand a chance. I think I bombed my German test. There are relatively few tests in that class, so I’ll probably only manage a B+. I think I’ll get a B in Roman Republic, damnit, though that really pisses me off. And while I’ll definitely pull an easy A in History of Ohio, that leaves me tragically .7 points below the Dean’s List marker.

I don’t know why I care so much. I cared before because I was going to grad school. And since I’m not now, it doesn’t matter. I guess it’s just that I’ve gotten sucked into the cult of the overachiever and I measure myself by my grades. Since they’re normally quite above average, I am too. Though I know that’s all phony. My grades in high school were disturbingly below average, and I was still quite a bit above average then.

I know that my worldview is off. But that doesn’t kill the feeling of disappointment when I fail.

posted by Sarie @ 1:02 PM >Comments: 0