Sunday, December 11, 2005


I had a nice weekend.

Thursday night I spent at Jasmin's because we had a crazy winter storm. It actually wasn't as crazy as we were told it would be. They predicted like seven inches of snow, I think we got closer to three or four. In any case, it set me up for spending Friday at Jasmin's by myself, which was really, really nice. After a week of writing papers and related craziness, it was nice to just watch tv and sleep all day.

Saturday, my mom and I went to pick out a Christmas tree. Then we went to my brother's house, ate pizza and set up his tree. I got to play with Mystery Baby. She's getting so smart. The other day, I walked in with a McDonald's bag, and her eyes lit up. She was like: "Madonnas?" It melted my heart. Crazy kid won't say "mom," "dad," or "drink," but she knows McDonald's. That's a true American.

Today was busy. I went to church early. It's funny to me that I'm starting to know so many people there. Or rather, that so many people there are kind of getting to know me. As I was walking in, I was talking to one girl about the clothes I gave her for her baby. They were clothes that I'd gotten for Mystery Baby when she was that age, that she'd never got around to wearing.

Then a lady that usually sits behind me walked in, and, finding someone else in her usual seat, moved two rows in front of me. She turned around and told me: "Hey, don't you worry, hun, when it comes time to hold hands I'll run back and grab yours!" I like that total strangers are made happy by my immense discomfort with unnecessary displays of affection toward strangers.

There were other people too. It's funny to think of myself in church without Jasmin. But somehow I do all right. It's taken me a year, but people are getting to know me. That's a funny thing; and ultimately a good thing, I think.

Damn, I'm tired.

After church, I had nursery duty while folks practiced for the Christmas play. The kids and I played hide and seek for like an hour. It was a blast. I was, surprisingly, perhaps the best hider. While I guess I can't brag too much about beating out a bunch of kids, especially the four and six year-olds, I must say that I was quite impressive for being way too big to hide under, erm, anything.

Then, when it came time for the kids to practice their part in the play, I got to help, too. One of the real actors didn't show, so I got to play the part of Tom. It was fun being a dad named Tom in a play. I mean, I wouldn't really want to gender-bend in a church play. But you know, for pretend, it was good times.

Then the kids and I played house. I haven't played house since I was probably seven years-old. I was never a big fan of it then. I usually played the dog or the mailman or something, so I wasn't involved in very much. Today I was the mom, turned robber, turned queen of the world.

I always teach the children awful things. Today, with my cast of mother, child, dog, monkey and ghost-that-can-turn-into-anything, I started an international crime ring. I trained my monkey to rob banks, and my dog to maul the FedEx guy, so that monkey could go out and grab his presents. Then we managed to take out the cops, the bomb squad and the United States military, in quick succession. We then built a castle and defended it against those who dared rise against us.

Yes, folks, this is what your children learn when you leave them in the church nursery. Muahahahahaha!