Friday, April 18, 2003

The Friday Five

1. Who is your favorite celebrity?

Kathy Bates. She's a better actress than the vast majority of folks in Hollywood; I mean, good Lord, she's certainly more versatile: obsessive fan of Misery; Squirrel Lady of Rat Race; Menopausal burgeoning Southern Feminist from Fried Green Tomatos, etc. And she does it with the insanely massive handicapped of being obese. Does it sound mean to point out that she's fat? Sure it does. And that underscores my point. Our society wants, demands, that women be tiny and pretty and wispy; she's not, and she's still magnetic and commanding and she makes a ton of money doing it. That's pretty damn awesome the way I see it.

2. Who is your least favorite?

I despise the entire Baldwin family.

3. Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life?

Lots of sports types; when I was little my brother always made me go with him to get autographs of NFL players. Then, of course, I've met Dick Goddard, Wilma Smith, Big Chuck and Little John, of infamous Cleveland television fame. I met Vitamin C, though I didn't really want to. And there are others, surely, but they don't stick out in my mind terribly clearly. I'm not really the star struck type.

4. Would you want to be famous? Why or why not?

I'd like to be rich, and that comes along with being famous sort of. And I'd like to be a famous speechwriter, or author, or something. But I wouldn't want to be a "celebrity" or a movie star. Mostly because famous people are vastly overrated. They don't do much, and they whine a lot, and people freak if they gain half a pound, or if they're not wearing their makeup or something. I'm just generally happier remaining anonymous, unless I gain something important by putting myself out there, like donations for charity or something.

5. If you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why?

Ari Fleischer, if he counts. Because he's awesome. He has a rough job, and he's just as smoothe as his shiny, bald head.