Sunday, June 13, 2004

Right now I'm having trouble getting motivated to do all the stuff that I really kind of want to do. Like blog, for instance. I've been thinking over the old blog lately, and I actually have a few ideas for some changes I could make around this place. But then again, it all sounds like so much work. And I'm just not particularly interested in doing any work. Plus, I'm having a little difficulty with this blog, and what I can write in it and what I can't. The thing is, most of my thoughts these days are people, and not abstract ideas. I don't mind discussing the abstract in front of the world and everybody, but I don't think it's right to talk about people here, so I'm having a hard time coming up with stuff to say. Maybe break will recharge me a little.

In other news, I'm finally done with school for this wretched quarter, and this wretched year. I just have to get through Biology this summer, and I'm done for my entire wretched life, if I want to be. I don't know if I really do or not. Graduate school sounds like a really convenient way to put off being an adult for a while longer.

But then again, more and more, being an adult sounds like less of a bad thing. I've spent the last couple of days with my niece's baby, and my cousin's baby, and all I can think about is how I've neglected, purposefully, this huge part of my personality. I'm reconsidering all these notions about myself that I developed when I was like thirteen, that maybe shouldn't apply to me quite so much now that I'm past junior high school and my life is different. At the same time, I came to those conclusions, premature though they might have been, for good reasons, a considerable proportion of which still apply.

I turned 22 last Thursday. A lot of people did a lot of nice things for me, but it was still a lonely birthday somehow. I think they're going to become increasingly so as I continue to age. Adult years go by a lot faster than the younger ones did, for better and for worse.

I'm full of random thoughts tonight. I'm not all that coherent. I hate OSU's website for being down, so I can't check my grades.