Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I wanted to get out of bed today just about as much as I wanted to be smashed in the face repeatedly with a splinter-prone wooden baseball bat. Why is breathing so painful when I first wake up? I guess I could have a touch of bronchitis; everyone around me seems to. But the mile long walk to class each day, up hill and through cold air, with my bag with me, doesn't leave me out of breath. I should think with bronchitis that walk would make my chest hurt some anyway; hey, maybe it'll start to. That would be just about right.

Actually, things are looking a bit up again. I'm getting along with my mother for them most part; she's still purposely trying to get on my nerves some, but that's always to be expected. We're not fighting anymore, anyway. My father's getting his stitches out today, and will quite possibly hear his test results. I won't get home from school until 7:30 so I guess I won't hear what they are until then. My persecution complex isn't entirely gone, but it's fading a bit.

I think I have to face a fact that previously I've had difficulty facing. I know that I'm attracted to eccentric people. Normal people are so...boring. It's not that I don't know what average is; it's more that I don't care for it. But eccentric people have a tendency to be people with problems. Be it their own problems, or problems in their family, or whatever else. And because of that, eccentric people tend to be a bit dramatic. My problem is that I'm only attracted to dramatic people; then when they get all dramatic, I get uncomfortable or annoyed. While dramatic people have problems in general, it's my own problem that I surround myself with them and then act surprised when they get dramatic.

Note to Self: Stop trying to fix everything for everyone. It's not your place to solve everyone's problems. It isn't fair for anyone to make such demands of you. Really, it isn't. So stop feeing guilty all of the time.

In book related news, I think I want to read some more about Mother Teresa, and also, St. Maximillian Colby. The latter's a name I've heard for a long time, but I don't know much about him, and I ought to.

It snowed a bit last night. I wish it snowed more in the daytime, and less through the night. I never get snow days, so the only reason I even care about the snow at all, is that I have to scrape it off my car in the morning. I wish we could get a good snow worked up, which would last til weekend, so I could go sledding. Sledding, I love. The boring stories I could tell about sledding!