Thursday, February 27, 2003

It's been a long day. I had to go to school early, and I had to actually study during the part of the day I'm always supposed to be studying, and I had a test. And I had to go the store. But no matter, I can relax now, it's weekend. Right?

Wrong. I have to go to sleep early tonight cause I have to pick my sister up at 8 for a doctor's appointment. Now, I don't begrudge anybody the right to go to the doctor, but damn I wanted to sleep in. I've had to get up early so many times in the last week and a half. All I really want in the world is a good sleep. At least it's for a good cause this time. Last week's nonexistent makeup exam loosened a screw, methinks.

Still, it's good that another week has ended. Two more weeks of class, then finals, then a week of relative freedom.

Tonight, I'm thinking about the differences between human beings and other organisms. The scientific side of me isn't so sure there's much a difference at all. Philosophically I always point to the free will factor. But it seems animals have a bit of free will too. Maybe they can't accept or reject the Almighty; but they sure can do what they want to. And generally, their free will manifests just the same way ours does: Self-destructively, that is. I don't like to think that humans are capable of being studied the same way amoebas are. But that's exactly what I'm taught in school in every natural or behavioral science that I take. Fortunately, history relies on the unpredictable. I much prefer the spontaneous self-destructive act of human desperation to the droning predictability of the ant farm. I just fear that we might secretly be living in the ant farm, except, we're too stupid to behave ourselves as we ought.