Sunday, January 25, 2004

The past week has been so awful, and I've been so emotional. And not just emotional, but despaired. Well, no more of that. Everyone has their occasional dark night of the soul, but despair is unforgivable, and I won't give in it to it.

I've always had a temptation toward darkness. I've never entirely given myself over to it, but Lord I've tried sometimes. Years of experience, of logic and thought, of all of my higher faculties, tells me that darkness is not what I want. It's a craving; a desire; a passing passion and nothing more.

I want Joy. That's my decision. I make it for all time. For the salvation of my own soul, and the souls of those around me.