Tuesday, June 15, 2004

I'm having a difficult time deciding if it's destructive or not, to suddenly lose some of your eccentric, probably destructive, traits. It's almost like a major mood swing, out of nowhere, and frankly, I'm not all that experienced at having such things.

If a behavior is bad, you change it. But what if it's only minorly bad, and you really are sort of fond of it? Well, that's the conundrum I'm in. I mean, you can't force yourself to do much of anything, insofar as habit and emotion are concerned. But I guess you can force a tendency, if you try hard enough. The question now remains, is that regressive behavior, or is it an acceptable erm, I guess you'd say, foible.

Anyway, I'm being purposely vague, so I don't know why I bothered bringing it up. Outside, that is, of that it reveals an odd tendency in my personality to demand perfection, even while I'm purposefully arranging for the lack thereof.

I'm thoroughly enjoying summer on the whole, though I haven't done much noteworthy. Thinking back, on June 15th of last year, I believe I was in Ireland. I wish I was there now. It would almost certainly be cooler out, in any case, and I would like to walk around like a drunken, homeless bum on O'Connell Street again.

April and I went to see Saved the other night and it was the best time I think I've had with her in a while, though I can't pinpoint why. Maybe it had something to do with the milkshakes. Or maybe it was just because I wasn't, for the first time since Fall, distracted by some paper I had to write, or some book I really had to get to reading. I don't know, but it was nice.

I managed an A in my 598 class, and an A in my English class. I'm only marginally annoyed by my A- in Stats. On the one hand, the equivocation of a minus totally blows, and I don't really see how it's fair that you can have an A- and not a A+. On the other hand, hell, any kind of A in a Math class is welcome, and knowing that I totally biffed, to quote Randy, on the final, it's stupid to complain.

I'm debating what class/classes I should take this summer. There are a lot of variables, and I debating on whether or not I care to work harder and get more. Or work less hard, and get pretty much the same, plus free time.