Friday, January 13, 2006

Bad Dog.

Jasmin's dog has behavioral issues. I've heard it said that some dogs are just like people. Peppy is very much like a person. A vindictive, degenerate person.

For the past several months, I've spent a lot of time at Jasmin's house during the day. I watched my nephew over here because, with Mystery Baby at my house, and a terminally ill mom at home, two kids were sometimes a bit much for one tiny little house. So Ty Guy and I would head over here at like 10:00 or so. Then the dogs only had to spend two hours by themselves.

Lucky loved the baby and was with him all the time. Peppy, well, not so much. He hung out with me. If I took a break from Ty, I didn't exactly get a break from Pep. Peppy would be in my lap every second that Tyron wasn't, and most of the seconds he was, too.

Anyway, I haven't had Ty lately, and I've been really busy. Plus, I've been spending a lot of time with Mystery Baby because she's so darn cute. I haven't been getting over here 'til like 2:00 or 3:00 or so most days, which means that the dogs have been alone for like six or seven hours.

Peppy seems to view this as quite the betrayal.

He's been relieving his anger by relieving himself all frickin' over everything. Every day there's at least one mess to clean up.

Oh, sure, it was kind of funny when he pooped on Matt's favorite sweater. But it's gone too far. A full week of poop clean up culminated today in Peppy approaching my bag, looking me straight in the eye, and proceeding to pee.

To be fair, he didn't hit my bag. I know that this was intentional. He's not so new to peeing on stuff that he would miss if he intended to hit something. But it was a warning. An act of open defiance.

Little bastard.

I don't feel all bad though. A long time ago, the King of Retalitory Pooping actually pooped in Matt's work shoes. Now that would have been funny to see.

The funniest though: One time Peppy waited for Matt to get in the shower, and then he peed on his towel. So when Matt reached out to grab it and wipe his face off, it was soaked in urine. Of course, he didn't discover that until AFTER he'd wiped his face. The pre-planning is what makes it so funny. Matto's totally unawareness is classic.

I'm keeping my guard up though. I told Jasmin that if he tries something like that on me, she's going to come home to find a literal boot up this dog's ass. She's going to be all: "Peppy? What's on your booty?" And he's going to be all: "::whines::" Who has the last laugh then Poopy?

Kidding, of course. I'm not down with animal cruelty.


Boot, Dog, boot!