Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Patience being tried.

Not a patient night to start.

Feck off world, I’m not in the mood for your demands tonight.

I’m not about to change for you. Not again. I’ve changed for you one too many times. Don’t tell me I’m faltered. You’re the one that’s messed up; not me. I have my problems, but I’m not the one who’s demanding your time, your energy, your attention and your personality. I’m content to be who I am. If you can’t be content with me, then go away. Because I don’t need the constant criticism.

My head is aching. My muscles are sore. I can’t breathe in without coughing. I need a fucking break.

Wouldn’t it be great if I got into an accident and just died? I’m tired of being alive. I’m not about to kill myself. But I don’t want to discourage the powers that be. If you want me, take me. Because I’m just wasting my time. I’m wasting everyone’s time.

I can't figure out what the point of this life is.

God, my highs and lows come so close together.