Monday, April 10, 2006

Depression and Anxiety.

There's not a lot of news to report.

Surprisingly, I sort of like my new class this quarter. I'm thinking of transferring to Case Western. Or trying to, at least. I'm sick of OSU. The only positive thing I can report about OSU at the grad level is that it's dead cheap. But, you get what you pay for.

I've not been very happy lately. Feeling sort of unappreciated and ignored. These things happen. Like the lowly cockroach, I will survive.

My brother was in the emergency room earlier this week. They think he might have had a ministroke. That was a mess. He's okay now. Will see a neurologist soon.

It's funny. I've been obsessing over this looming disappointment in my life. It will be a relatively minor disappointment if it occurs (in fact, it happened last year and I managed). But somehow it's managed to invade all of my waking thoughts and even my dreams. I don't know if I'm creating the scenario I fear just by thinking about it. I know that this is just a personification of my insecurities. But people like me believe in signs; and I'm waiting for this one to come. In so many ways, I wish time would just hurry up and arrive. Then I would know the result; for better or worse.

I'm so tired. I could sleep for a week and not feel rested.